Tomato Relish

January 28 2003

I have a few nasty habits. I don't regard them as nasty but people I know think they are a bit strange.

I am a closet beetroot eater. Beetroot isn't one of your most popular vegetables. It bleeds and makes an unattractive mess on a dinner plate. And, while it might be a tasty addition to a sandwich, it does do awful things to aesthetics.

And so I am reduced to plunging my cooked beetroot in vinegar and dishing it up with salads (a big sprinkling of freshly ground nutmeg makes this quite superior). Or trimming and roasting it. Either way, I like to have a secret guzzle because I find beetroot a most sensuous vegetable.

My other culinary indiscretions include slabby sandwiches of really well matured cheese and raspberry jam. I can blame this on my Aunt Betty. She and my Uncle Giff used to farm in Pahautea in New Zealand's Wairarapa and their cows' milk would go to the local factory which used to make the most wonderful "tasty cheese‚", stuff that would make the roof of your mouth beg for mercy. I often spent Christmas holidays on the farm when berries were in fruit and Betty would make all these wonderful jams. Her father-in-law Horace got me hooked on the cheese/berry jam combo.

Every so often, when I am having a serious food talk with another serious food talker, I discover another cheese and jam fiend. It's a bit like exchanging a secret lodge handshake. Forever after we will knowingly nod and wink at each other.

One of my most private vices has been a four-decade addiction to tomato relish on toast, Normal people eat relish with cold meat. OK. But I like it on toast, for breakfast, an addiction I can blame on my paternal grandfather (who got me hooked on pickled onions, black pudding, fresh mint and parsley straight out of the garden). Every year I have this little ritual. I make the relish. No one else in the family will eat it. Suits me fine. All the more for me. I toast the bread, slather on some politically correct olive oil spread and then spread on my relish. Sheer bliss.

One recent morning The Spouse appeared at the bedside with the tea and toast (OK, I am spoiled). Usually it's one slice with Vegemite, another with jam or marmalade. This time the gustatory sensors did a bit of a shocked withdrawal. My teeth did a tentative nip on the toast. The tastebuds recoiled. The spouse was trying to poison me. He had laid his hands on some fairly virulent Indian chutney - great with an Indian meal, but fairly gut-wrenching at breakfast time.

Loathe to criticise in case the breakfast-in-bed service was withdrawn, I diplomatically inquired about the bill of fare. Seems he'd found a jar of chutney in a Christmas hamper and, knowing my partiality for tomato relish, decided to treat me.

Oh, well. It was lip-pursing, stomach-clenching, vinegar-strong fare at that early hour.

The relish I like to make each year is fairly mild. And it is luscious on toast in the AM.

My recipe comes from a book that most Kiwis have been brought up on - The Edmonds Cookery Book.

Tomato Relish

12 large tomatoes, peeled
4 large onions
25g salt
500g brown sugar
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 tablespoon curry powder
2 tablespoons flour
3 chillis

Cut the tomato into four or more pieces. Sprinkle with salt and leave overnight. Next day, pour off the liquid and, put the tomato and onion mixture in to a preserving pan with sugar and chillis. Add enough vinegar to cover. (See picture above) Bring to the boil. Simmer 1 1/2 hours. Mix flour, curry powder and mustard to a smooth paste with a little cold vinegar. Add to mixture and boil five minutes. Put into sterilised jars and seal tightly.(Right).